Love pt.3

Love pt.3
The Balance of Vulnerability

One of the most complicated things about love is it's vulnerability. To truly love, you must be open. And being open to love also means being open to being hurt.

Again, a quote from Captivating:
“We have missed many of His notes simply because we have shut our hearts down in order to endure the pain of life. Now, in our healing journey as women, we must open our hearts again, and keep them open. Not foolishly, not to anyone and anything. But yes, we must choose to open our hearts again so that we might hear his whispers, receive his kisses.”

Then, she tells a story. One that has stuck to me, and when I gave a copy of this book to a dear friend, she mentioned this exact same illustration. Her husband was walking along the beach and saw a whale.
“John told me this story and, happy as I was for him, I was more hungry for such a kiss for myself. I wanted a whale too.... I...snuck away one morning for some much needed time on the beach with God. I sat on the sand, looked out to the sea, and asked God for a whale. 'I know you love John, Jesus, but do you love me too? That much? If you do, may I have a whale too?'

I felt a little silly for asking, for I knew the truth—that God had proven His love for me....
After a while, with no whale in sight, I got up off the sand and continued to walk... I rounded a corner and came upon a starfish, a beautiful orange starfish. And I knew at once it was God's gift to me, His kiss. He didn't give me a whale; no, that was for John alone. For me, unique to me, He gave stunning starfish. He answered my question. Yes, He loved me. I thanked Him for it, then rounded the next bend and came upon a sight I will never forget. There, before me, behind me, surrounding me, were hundreds of starfish. Zillions of them. There were purple ones and orange ones and blue ones, all sizes. I burst into joyful laughter, my heart exploding inside me. God didn't just love me. He LOOOOVED me! Intimately, personally, completely...

All relationships ebb and flow. The ebbing is to draw our hearts out in deeper longing. In the times of emptiness, an open heart notices. What are you feeling? Like a lonely girl missing her daddy? Like a teenage young woman feeling completely invisible, unseen? Notice also what you want to do—how you handle your heart. Are you shutting down in anger? Turning to food? To others?
What is crucial is that, this time, we handle our hearts differently... We choose not to shut down. We let the tears come. We allow the ache to swell into a longing prayer for our God. And He comes, dear hearts. He does come. The times of intimacy—the flowing waters of love—those times then bring healing to places in our hearts that still need His touch.”

Something I have found to be part of my ministry here is to love my little siblings. And really love them. Love them when they woke up grumpy. Love them when they forgot to get to the bathroom and “had an accident”. Love them when they hit you when they are walking by (I still have no idea what it is about me, but they all do it!)

Some days I have suddenly found myself “compelled” (As King Saul might say) to lean over and give my little sister a kiss. She looks up at me like I bit her! I smile and say, “I love you sunshine!” (because her sanguine nature is such a delight to me). She scowls and goes back to her business.

I have been more involved in the younger ones, specifically, because they have that ache in them just as much as the older ones, but they cannot manipulate for more attention as easily, and they have not had life crush them as much as the older ones.
Little hearts are so hauntingly needy. Their little eyes have so many questions, and mother and father rush on by with house payments, grocery bills mounting as inflation takes hold of even basic necessities, and schooling the older ones.
They have learned to be wary, though, they have been pushed away too many times.