I love cats. I could really be an old cat lady in the future if no one wants to marry me. You know...those old ladies whose entire pension is spent on food and cat litter? They feed all the hundred wild ones who visit as well as the 15 or so that they keep inside....
But anyway, I had to leave my cat in the RP when we moved, and my parents promised that I could get a cat once we got a house. After renting and doing other things, we finally moved to where we are now, and I was able to adopt an older one that some people were giving away. For a couple months my father paid for the supplies for it. Well, a couple months later it had kittens. SURPRISE!!! Being a good breed, I was able to sell them for money, and my father suggested I use the money for the mother's future upkeep. So I did....until it ran out.
I would continue using the small amounts that came my way whenever I could, and I did not have a problem with it. However, lately I do not have the cash flow, and my father had taken back that responsibility.
The other night, I asked him about getting more cat food (I am running out). He suddenly got on a "well, isn't this a wonderful situation" mood. (I can read him very well....I am only just now finding this out) He sat down in the chair opposite me and said he would....on one condition.
I suddenly got really scared. My mother had been acting very gloating and suspicious lately. This has been one of the hardest "roles" I have ever plaid. I have been told many times that I was a born actress. I was always the "drama queen" of the house. Whenever I have had the opportunity to act, I enjoy it to the hilt.
However, this is real life. My mind and plans are changing. I am no longer the same person that they raised me to be. However, I have to keep up a front or else I may not be able to accomplish my goals for these two years.
Back to the moment:
He asked me "Are you an independent sister-in-Christ, or are you an obedient, submissive daughter in this house?"
I was frankly dumbfounded. "I would say both. In Christ there is no male or female...." (I forget what else I said, but it was good!)
He replied that in many cases they were not the same, and in this case they were opposite. So, which was it?
I tried to delve deeper, and I asked him where he was assuming these attitudes from. He mentioned a week or so ago when I was complaining and telling the kids bad things about them (him and mother) and that they had reported my treason.
Then, he began referencing the blog you can find on my left sidebar. A blog I love deeply. He said I had linked to it from our Michael Pearl discussion. (that would be another whole blog post. We (him, me and mother) had a long "talk" and I had to get the article online) I remember distinctly pulling up a different blog. I asked him that and he admitted to blog-hopping.
He then expressed complete shock and amazement at the fact that when he checked up on this blog, and found a post saying "verbatim" what I had said to my siblings.
Anyway, all he ended up wanting was for me to say (and I quote) "I will live in this communist house...." etc. I told him that I had been living in it, and it was amazing how he acknowledged the word...and he cut me off and said for me to SAY it or else the "first result" would be me having to buy my own cat food.
I said: "I have been living under this communist system and I will continue to live under it for a time." He was satisfied and he walked away.
Later, he and my mother were talking and he said the I said the words and he could hold me to them. He also gave my mother a lengthy lecture as to why the blog was supporting girls who were rebellious against authority and leaving the protection and sanctity of their father's homes. He talked about how wrong it was to say that these girls "could not find God" through their parents homes because that was the only place where God WOULD reach them. All the suicidal issues and junk that they went through after was a sign of that.
I am right now in jeopardy of all this coming up.
A friend asked me what might happen if my parents knew any of this.
I said I wasn't sure. It would be considered the same as treason, and I didn't want to think about it.
Well, now that reality is staring me straight in the face.
I am scared spitless right now.
I have written out some questions for myself. I am working on answering them
The biggest one is: Am I just too scared to leave?
8 comments:
I remember the time that I knew I needed to leave, for my own spiritual/emotional/mental health, but didn't allow myself to because of a mix of fear and the consequences of leaving. I'm not gonna lie, it was the hardest thing that I've ever done and it nearly destroyed me.... but, it was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so sorry! I know how you feel and what you're going through (except, with me it was my now-husband, as opposed to cat food). *hugs* Leaving is the best decision I made, but don't rush into it, there is a ton of fallout (I'm still dealing with it) which I'm sure you know. *hugs - will be praying*
Working out your own salvation with fear and trembling can be a hard road ~ but GOD IS WITH YOU. He will give you wisdom and strength. He will show you what you must do in this and all matters for He is a jealous God who loves and wants YOU.
"He talked about how wrong it was to say that these girls "could not find God" through their parents homes because that was the only place where God WOULD reach them. All the suicidal issues and junk that they went through after was a sign of that."
What happens when one is suicidal and has "junk" throughout their teen years while they are safely at home? Many teens living at home end up killing themselves so this is a red herring.
This also dangerously puts God in a box. "The only place where God WOULD reach them" cannot be further from the truth. This is called "mystical manipulation".
http://www.churchofgodrestorationexposed.us/Articles/C2.html
It might be helpful, as you seek God's will, to familiarize yourself with the different elements of persuasion used by those who exert ungodly forms of control.
# Ad Hominem - Attack your opponent's person rather than the argument itself. Literally "against the man"
# Ad Hominem Abusive (Sub category of Ad Hominem) - An attack on the character or other irrelevant personal qualities of the opposition—such as appearance—is offered as evidence against their position. Such attacks are often effective distractions ("red herrings"), because the opponent feels it necessary to defend the self, thus being distracted from the topic of the debate.
# Ad Hominem Circumstantial (Subcategory of Ad Hominem) -A Circumstantial Ad Hominem is one in which some irrelevant personal circumstance surrounding the opponent is offered as evidence against the opponent's position. This fallacy is often introduced by phrases such as: "Of course, that's what you'd expect him to say." The fallacy claims that the only reason why he argues as he does is because of personal circumstances, such as standing to gain from the argument's acceptance.
# Appeal to Authority - Citing authorities or respected figures to support an argument or to discredit or negate an argument made by an opponent. This effectively thwarts the debate and the argument.
# Appeal to Fear** - Fear is used to destabilize people so that they will be more likely to do or believe something that they would not otherwise choose under normal circumstances
# Appeal to Force** (Argumentum ad Baculum) - Use of force and threats of force to "win" a debate. (baculum is a walking stick)
# Appeal to Ignorance (also Argument from Silence) -An appeal to ignorance is an argument for or against a proposition on the basis of a lack of evidence against or for it. If there is positive evidence for the conclusion, then of course we have other reasons for accepting it, but a lack of evidence by itself is no evidence.
# Appeal to Prejudice** - Using emotive terms and connotation to attach moral benefit or goodness to the argument. Attach the modifier "Biblical" to that which should not be questioned. "Cleanliness is next to godliness." It can also be used negatively. "The opinions and unrelated beliefs of a non-Christian cannot really be trusted, even regarding matters that do not relate to morality or Scripture."
# Argumentum Ad Nauseum - An idea is repeated relentlessly until it is accepted. Especially effective when there is a great deal of milieu control.
# Argumentum Ad Populum - (also called the "bandwagon" and "inevitable victory") Persuasion based on social proof
# Big Lie - Create a message that is so complex but contains enough truthful elements so that people will not identify all the fictitious and fallacious elements. By the time it is recognized, many of the ideas are a part of the fabric of the debate and widely accepted.
# Black-and-White Fallacy** (also called the Either-Or Fallacy or False Dilemma) - Presents information so that there are only two possible choices, one of which is far more appealing than the other. Obsures the difference between that which is contrary vs contradictory.
# Common Man - Taking on of the characteristics of the target audience to make the message more palatable
# Demonizing the Enemy** - Dehumanize the enemy and remove elements of commonality so that the target is easily dismissed, worthless, and of "non-person" status
# Direct Order - Simplification of the decision making process so that followers will respond to very simple commands without question or need for additional problem solving
# Euphoria - Use of emotionally charged and euphoria producing events to perpetuate good feelings and utopian ideals
# Flag-waving - Capitalizing on patriotic sentiments to further one's agenda.
# Glittering Generality - The use of positive connotation and vague statements to present an argument as very desirable without evidence to support glittering claims
# Intentional Vagueness** (also "Fuzzy Logic") - Conclusions are not directly stated and the message may be intentionally vague so that individuals may draw their own conclusions, and the speaker does not have to be held directly accountable for the ideas. This works well in concert with other propaganda techniques.
# Oversimplification (also "Fallacy of the Simple Cause") - Very complex processes are described with trite explanations that do not provide a faithful perspective for the target audience. Trite explanations are used to reduce rationales into faulty causalities.
# Quoting Out of Context (type of "Straw Man" argument) - Selected quotes are extracted from a passage so that without the full context of the passage, the meaning is greatly distorted.
# Rationalization** - Positive and unrelated aspects of something are offered as evidence for an argument's validity. "But they can't teach wrong doctrine because they have a lovely family"
# Red Herring - (large category of several fallacies) Irrelevant but compelling aspects of an argument are offered as a distraction from the core issues in order to derail the debate.
# Redefinition** - Assigning new meaning to an old term, but this is a logical boobytrap because of the ease of equivocation and confusing meanings. "He who defines, wins."
# Reductio ad Hitlerum (type of Red Herring - see also Transference) - Suggestion that a popular idea is associated with something deplorable, hateful and unthinkable so that people will react and reject the argument or source of information based on the association.
# Repetition - A rhetorical or literary device that is lyrical and gets stuck in one's mind like an advertising jingle. It is akin to argumentum ad nauseum, but also has literary quality.
# Scapegoating** - A single cause or element is identified and vilified as the source of all undesirable circumstances or outcomes. The scapegoat distracts the audience from other possible contributing factors.
# Slogans - Short phrases or motto used to make emotional appeals and support ideas. Slogans become "thought stopping" techniques quickly and become communication shortcuts that suspend critical thought.
# Steriotyping (also "Name Calling" or "Labeling") - Reduces people, events, practices or ideas to capitalize on prejudice to evoke fear or distain.
# Straw Man** - The Prince of All Fallacies (Subtype of "Red Herring") - Attempt to refute an opponent's position, and in the context is required to do so, but instead attacks a position—the "straw man"—not held by the opponent. Argues to a conclusion that denies the "straw man" the arguer has set up, but misses the target. A common straw man is an extreme man. Extreme positions are more difficult to defend because they make fewer allowances for exceptions, or counter-examples.
# Testimonial - Reports or testimony from trusted sources are offered, out of context, in support of or for vilification of an idea, person, etc.
# Transference** - Projection of either positive or negative qualities to something or someone in order to connote qualities that may or may not be related. It capitalizes on emotional response and is related to "Guilt by Association" and "Reductio ad Hitlerum"
# Unstated Assumption** - Beliefs are implied or stated indirectly because a direct statement would seem less credible. "Women's suffrage is outside the prescriptive will of God and Kingdom Architecture." As a woman and a voter, you now have been told that you are acting outside the will of God and willingly disobedient. Any Christian understands that willful disobedience of God and the Scriptures is sin. The speaker can imply that they have not accused anyone of sinning, skirting accountability; however their inference that voting for women is a sin is understood.
I am deeply heartbroken to hear what you and your siblings are enduring there at home. What you're being forced to say and do is grievous, abusive and ungodly. You've mentioned that being home is a matter of obedience to God as you minister to your family while waiting until the best time to leave. I hope that you are able to find some measure of healing and protection from the toxic environment you're in while you follow this call to stay and minister.
Meanwhile, Jesus met with "sinners" and "religious" people wherever they happened to be. Jesus will be with you wherever you are too.
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