I wrote this post a long time ago when I was upset about my father telling me that God would speak to him and not me because of my gender.
I am having flashbacks to this because the people I babysit for switched their childs daycare to a fundie baptist church/school kindergarden. I know they are fundie because of the way the women all look like my mom and the younger girls all look like I did. There are knee-length or longer skirts on every one of them and they have that "meek" attitude about them that drives me insane now that I have given it up. The men all have that obnoxious "go-getter" attitude and are forced to open the door for women and children (and are wearing ties and collared shirts and/or suits).
I enjoy wearing pants as I drop the child off and driving into the carpool lane with "I Love This Bar" playing on the country music station. I enjoy driving off as they shuffle kids to and fro getting paid who knows what (maybe even volunteering their time as a "ministry").
I feel a little guilty because a part of my head feels like that should be me doing that (brainwashing kicking in).
But I have figured out what I am going to say to them if they ever dare to strike up a conversation with me:
"No thank you." Flat out refusal of their values is going to be like a backhand to them.
Because I grew up like that. And I realized, after years of swallowing the koolaid, when my dad told me that God would not commune with me because of my gender, that all that bullshit about wearing skirts and being the "weaker sex" and guarding men's eyes was just that... bullshit. None of it was biblical and none of it was supportable in a real-life situation.
Im no grandchild. If I am a Christian, I am God's child outright and my father is not and never was my "umbrella" or mediator. If I am religious it is because I find some kind of meaning in it, not because I was raised a culture warrior or taught my Koine Greek or memorized thousands of verses, or know my references by heart. I am no grandchild, and neither are you.
