random stuff

OK, so first order of business is to say that commenting seems to be down again.
If OneSurvivor would email me, I can send you the prize :) (no it is not a kitten)

I am feeling better. Tonight I managed to eat and not feel all that bad. The younger siblings seem to be catching some part of the bug. The baby threw up last night, and other little boy has been fussy and all. (Ps: there is probably nothing worse to do to an already sick-to-their-stomach person than to have them clean up throwup. Thank God for helpful little girls who are NOT (yet?) sick)
Oh, and I am finally sleepy.......all the time..... (can anyone say *rollercoaster**)

Packing has begun in earnest.
I have started to make a pile of boxes in my room. In sorting through all my junk, I came across some letters I had written in 2005, but never sent. It was amazing to hear the cries of the little girl as she admitted to sin after sin after sin.... and still begging to be loved. Knowing she was unlovable, yet needing so much to be loved.
I was so lost, yet somehow, I was found.

Mother has been whip-cracking.... I am dealing. God has been sustaining.


I am thankful today for :

friends who I talk on the phone with
generous brothers who help me out when my world is crashing (well, to be more specific, my only harddrive with all my everything on it)
same brothers who make up for being nice by killing you 20 times in Halo
having fun while beating up, throwing grenades at, and blowing up eachother
seeing how far I have come
tomato sauce (random, I know. I like it a lot)
water. Water to cleanse and to remove filth. To refresh and revitalize.
sleep
hearts
pens and paper, which communicate the soul across distance
words of love and care
fur and blue eyes, which depend on me so openly, teaching me what dependence with love can look like.
tears, the release of stress and portrayal of emotion
the color purple
the sound of keys clacking
the fact that it is warm outside, and green,
and the moon is round and full
and the world is asleep

and I will be too, soon.
ttfn.