Today, my mother was looking into her crystal ball again.
Oh, wait, I didn't mean that.... just a second...
Mama had another long lecture about the condition of our hearts today. We only ended up reading one verse of II Samuel 14 (our designated passage for the day) and jumped around again. She said that she was concerned about her children. She recounted the example of a cup filled with water which could not spill poison out of it, and about fruit trees bearing only good fruit. We spent a long time on “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...” I tried to focus on the fact that the whole speech was addressed to evil doubters whose hearts Jesus COULD see, and who were so hardened that He called them all sorts of vile names and they hardly heard.
It is interesting that she used the word “we” all the time. I don't know that I ever noticed it. I always felt that she was using my name. I don't know how much of it I internalized, but I ended up reading a lot in Matthew and I John 3 while trying not to listen to hard.
She tried to use Matt 5 to say that hating = murder like lust = adultery later on, and we had a mini-hermenutical breakdown, but she just went on and ignored me. The passage does not explicitly sate it, like it does in I John 3, but she philosophized that it did anyway. This is the first time I have really had a debate like this with her. I was really surprised by her obstinance. She said it didn't really matter, but I guess I saw it as trying to add something that wasn't there for sermon's sake....which I wasn't happy with in the first place....
I have notes from about a month ago when she did much the same thing. She was upset with all of us for the things we had done that morning. I wrote down the “Sins of Today” list. It was:
Not calling clearly/making sure I was heard
My brother not getting up and making sure that whatever was being said was not something he needed to respond to.
A younger bro talking back....
And it went on with a bunch of (somewhat) trivial things which condemned us all to the tongue-lashing of the day. I remember she spent a long time on proper repentance and such. Then, she had us all bow our heads and spend some time in silent prayer. We were told to “...try to see yourselves as God sees you.”
I prayed for my siblings, because I realize that God does not see me as a dastardly, hardened sinner who did not use the proper summoning technique for her sibling. I am merely a messing-up-all-the-time, but trying-as-hard-as-I-can-anyway child. He knows what I am. He also knows what I can be. He is trying to take me there, but I keep loosing my way.
I just wish my siblings could see this way as well....
3 comments:
Okay, let's see if I can explain this...
There is no "we" praying in the Bible. People prayed for "Us/We" in the sense that they are praying specifically for Israel as a people group, but they were not praying for a specific group of people like a congregation. It's the difference between praying for America and praying as a representative of your family/church.
So, when a pastor says "Let us pray..." and then proceeds to speak FOR the congregation with his "Help Us"s, "Let Us"s, and "Please forgive OUR"s he has NO RIGHT to do so. Protestants like to criticize Catholics for needing a priest to pray to God for someone, but they do the same things.
(This is a conclusion I came to on my own. I think it is different when a congregation is reading a prayer together.
I asked a group of pastors for ONE example of this in the Bible and they couldn't come up with one)
Your Mom has no right to do "We" on you. Just as God listens to individual prayers, he looks at our individual sins.
Using "We" is a technique to prevent people from saying "you do it too." It puts the blame on your family as a collective, so if you sin then you cause your entire family to stumble. :-(
Seeing yourself as God sees you means accepting yourself as a grace-filled, forgiven Child of God! Break out the party hats and celebrate! :-D
I-love-my-garden
Aaaargh! Why do people do this to one another?! They make life so hard for no good reason!!!
I had a teen friend live with us for a few months not long ago. She did...something...I don't remember what. I confronted her about the something, whatever it was, it was a momentary thing. No big.
She was still berating herself for it and apologizing later, and I had to explain to her than in healthy Christian families, things are pretty loosey goosey. We don't have to LOOK for sin, we have to LOVE around it.
You know, overlook most of it. Apologize when it hurts someone else. Say "ow, stop." if it hurts us. And then (drum roll please) we-
FORGIVE!
Yep, that's right, all over, all done, the end.
This amazed her, because I think she was used to the fine toothed comb sin search your mom was doing to you and your sibs. Deep introspection. Mental flagellation. Ugh.
So glad you held on to grace yourself! God does love you. He's the one who washed you in His own blood! You are clean, little sister, all clean. I can almost smell the ivory soap and baby powder.
Live loved, and I'm saying a prayer for your sibs and even your parentals right now.
Ah, the 'royal WE.'
Great thoughts, Shadowspring and ILMG!
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