I don't have OCD, but I am obsessive, and trying to NOT obsess put me into a mild depression last night. I walked it out, trying to call people on the phone. I really hate answering machines. I finally got my grandmother on the phone and we chatted for a little while.
Life still takes everything I have. I usually crash sometime in the afternoon and sleep for a couple hours. I keep beating myself up for it, because then I don't sleep until late at night and I wake up after 9 in the morning.
How am I supposed to be normal when I can't function normally?
Should I aim for being normal in the first place?
Isn't normal relative?
Why do I keep asking so many questions that can't really be answered?
3 comments:
Asking the unanswerable questions means you're thinking about them. And thinking about them is good, even if you never come up with a complete, concrete answer. Every time you revisit them, you'll get a bit more of an answer though...
Plus be easy on yourself! It takes time to adjust to the new realities. You're doing great!
I TOTALLY understand where you're at. I think the biggest thing to remember is that you do not need to be normal. It sounds like you're staying with some wonderful people who aren't going to get mad and yell at you or kick you out for needing to sleep. :) It takes a while to get used to that.
I've been out of my parent's house for over two years now and I still beat myself up for sleeping later than my husband does (after all, a good wife should be up to make her husband breakfast AND lunch... ). It's taken me a while to realize that he's not mad at me and knows that I need to rest.
Keep asking questions (and sleep whenever you need to).
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