Terminology

Last night I was having a conversation with my older brother on the phone.  Among the subjects we discussed, we came to talking about isolating an elementary school child for kissing another child of the same gender.  It was a real-situation that was told me by someone he introduced me to.
I called the actions taken stigmatizing.  He called it protecting the child who was kissed who did not welcome the attention.  While I was explaining my side he said: "So are you pro-gay now?" in a negative tone of voice. 
I dont remember exactly what I responded, but I didnt deny the allegation and then later when I was typing someone as naively conservative in a make-shift world where they impose their worldview on their limited sphere he got upset and called me a "liberal." 
I laughed.  It didnt freeze me with fear or cause me to fall on the floor and cry convulsively.  In fact, it meant nothing.  I told him: "Well, you are welcome to think that but...." and continued with my line of thought.

In other circles this word is a "dirty" word.  A mudslinging word that makes the other person rise up in righteous self-defense of their clear history of conservatism/whatever your antithesis may be.
I think his goal in doing that was to frighten me with "how far I have strayed" and to shepherd me back to the straight and narrow.  In fact, he did complain about the "person I was living with" affecting me and he didn't know if it was "too late."  To which I responded "Yes, heaven forbid I make any choices of my own.  I am sure it was all (the people I live with) holding midnight seances in the dungeons..."


The fact is, brother, that my living situation is only part of what is affecting me.  I work full time and I have held 3 jobs at the same time (worked all 3 in one day, once) and another one with a crazy lady that I no longer work for.  I go to bars every now and then, I watch a LOT of news and sarcastic daily commentators, and I am very active on the internet.  I read and think and reason and debate even myself on a daily basis.
I made these decisions myself.

The people I live with hold different views from me on a couple issues.  When these topics come up I just don't argue because we have argued once or twice and we have agreed to disagree.  And the fact is that I haven't made up my mind on a couple other issues and have set them aside to be resolved in the future.
Some things I feel strongly about, and I made these decisions on my own, with input from many sides, which I assure you, my upbringing and your views (also our father's views) featured strongly.
I cannot get away from my past.  Who he trained us to be is strong within me.  I fight it often.  Every day, multiple times a day.  Some battles I have won.  I go to work and revel in it, because I love work and the people I work with and the atmosphere and I don't feel any twinge of guilt to be working and supporting myself and independent.
On some things, I still fight.  Some I dont know if I will ever win.  But all that aside, know that what I have put away of my childhood indoctrination I did not part with lightly.  "Battle" and "fight" are not just metaphors.  Living is a daily discovery of new challenges and issues that must be resolved for my own well-being. 

The fact is that so many things he taught or envisioned just dont work out here.  And facing the out-here reality has changed me more than any one person ever will.
And ps: your arbitrary designation of terminology did not intimidate me.


Here is a toast to living and living anew.
Live loved.