Health

Last year I tried not to get sick and worked a lot and saved up a small sum of money.
This year, I am spending it all.

Ok, well, I actually found out that I cant spend it all.  I am a very skinflinty skinflint and I get grouchy and moody and negative when my bank account numbers sink.  I had a couple very bad days before I realized that I needed to pace myself by paychecks in order to avoid de-railing my progress.

So I have been taking care of myself.
I went for a complete physical, to the dentist, and to the eye doctor.  I am also trying to go to the Chiropractor at least twice a month because my back is pretty messed up.  I even went to the Dermatologist to get my "sressne" treated.
It is like setting myself up for a big mind-trip.  I feel scared, but happy, and like an adult and a kid at the same time.  It is my first time going without a parent along anywhere (except to pick up glasses once) and I am the one setting up the appointments, marking them on the calender, going, making the decisions, paying and working on follow-up.  I am the one having to floss.  I am the one making myself take a pill in the morning and evening.  It is a lot all of the sudden.

Growing up, doctors were not necessarily evil.  I remember my best present was a sphygmomanometer and a stethoscope.  I learned how to take blood pressure and pulse and count respirations and I even studied a nursing textbook for a school subject.  We went for certain shots/immunizations that my mom thought were necessary, and I had frequent ear infections so I went more often than the occasional big accident that needed stitches.

When our family came to America, doctor's visits suddenly became a huge expense that was difficult to justify.  When another baby brought all the under-age children under state health care we went to the dentist and got all our cavities taken care of and got cleanings every 6 months.  When we needed a 'physical' for a driving test we went with a parent present.  When anything big happened we went, but never for 'trivial' stuff.
And so all this feels a bit much to me.  Like an un-needed expense.
When I told my mom I had a doctor's appointment she asked how sick I was.  When I said it was just a physical and wellness exam she asked if it was for a job.  You dont "just go" to the doctor.  There has to be a reason!


But that is my goal for this year. To take care of myself.
I put two papers on the edges of my mirror reminding myself of that.
My health is important.  My emotional health is important.  My skin's health is important.

My only 'new-year's-resolution' was to take care of myself and to wear perfume every day.
I havent worn it EVERY day, but I have remembered a large majority of the time.
See, what are you saving all those bottles for, anyway?  What day will you need a huge bottle of perfume for?
Use it up!  You are worth it!