Hindsight

Hindsight is 20/20



Most of last week it was raining.  The temperature also dropped about 20 degrees and it even frosted over one evening.  It was only over this weekend when the sun came out and the 70 degrees returned that I realized just how depressed I was/had been.  I had been so much better at handling it over the winter when I expected it and was prepared to combat it.
This week was like a backhand to all the progress I thought I had made.
It is hard to look at myself when I am in that condition.  I am ashamed to admit the depths I sank to, and how crazy it all seems now.
It is so much easier to diagnose in hindsight, as well as to cure and counsel.

Today I had a customer that reminded me jarringly or my dad.  The poor man.  I ran away as soon as I finished checking him out and spent as much time outside as I could, getting carts, changing the trash bags, etc.  I picked up pretty quickly what was wrong, so it wasnt as bad as it might have been, but it was still a reminder to me of all my "issues" (such a nice word to bundle everything up with and dismiss or package it...) and what I had to deal with.
Luckily the day sun was hot and the pansies in front of the store smiled encouragingly at me.  I managed to pull myself together and be alright.  One halting step forward after falling down the stairs... again...