Maybe it is the fact that nothing has sunk in
Maybe it is that this place seems heaven crafted with everything good and nurturing to my soul
Maybe because I am endlessly naive
Maybe because it isn't so bad
Maybe because anything is better than what was before?
I am actually enjoying life. I wake up and wonder what the day will be like....in a happy way. I hope it isn't temporary. There is a pool nearby that I can go swim in. I love water. I used to wish I was a fish or a mermaid. It has done wonders for my outlook. I can't wait until I can go swim again.
People gave to me so generously that I could live for a couple months without having to work, but I really want to support myself/be independent. (*gasp, did I just say those words?)
I applied to two retail stores and I will look into nannying/babysitting. The area around here is prime for that. I am hoping to be able to go anywhere in a couple months.
I am feeling so strange actually having the whole world around me to pick from.
What do you want to be?
I could do this, I used to enjoy that, I like this.......
Suddenly I am not quite sure what my goals for life are. I know a couple things I have written down. I guess I'll have to go dig up that list and start keeping promises to myself.
God has been so good. Wow, I just started crying. I was talking with a friend lastnight and I said "I don't know what I have done for God to be so nice to me..." I still don't understand why He cares.
I'm gonna sign off because I can't see for crying.
7 comments:
""I don't know what I have done for God to be so nice to me..." I still don't understand why He cares."
The good thing is that God's love is unconditional. He doesn't love us for what we do but for who we are. I heard it said that there's nothing we can do to make God love us more (or less). It's a lesson I, too, have to learn over and over again.
Be blessed!
Eunika
So, so happy for you! Don't worry, the to-do list will come soon enough. :-) Enjoy these days to the full! I'm proud of you for working so hard at getting a job already. :-D
I'm so glad!!!!
This is so exciting, glad you are where you are right now.
I remember after I left the group that I was involved in there was a nice 'honeymoon' period where every option was open, the world was smiling and I was free.. it was glorious. At some point reality hit me and I had to deal with the hurt and mess that I had just come out of. Just be aware that it could happen and it's all gonna work itself out. You're gonna be choosing who you want to become in this world through the next season, it's wonderful and hard at the same time.
I'm so happy that you got out and that you were able to find a peaceful place to stay. I've lived through similar forced isolation and know how bad it is.
((hugs))
I-love-my-garden
PS: You might want to hide/delete your old posts. If your parents printed off your blog then they can find this one by searching for exact phrases from your entries.
I-love-my-garden
Sounds like me right after I left (beginning of July). It's encouraging to me to do all the things my mom thought I couldn't do without her, all by myself! Lol and to do things that I couldn't before and stuff. Like movies!
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