A Case Study:

(Manipulation)


He told me to do something. I don't remember what. I just know that him telling me to do it was incredible. I mumbled under my breath “You don't!”. Unfortunately, my mother and brother heard it, and reported me.

He got off the computer and told me to come into the other room. We sat in parallel chairs.

He began by throwing his hands in the air and asking what needed to happen in order for him to get a little respect out of me. (oh, the drama) I replied simply “Earn it.” That got me a lengthy lecture on how respect has to be given, not earned, and especially when it comes to authorities (the whole was copiously absent of Bible references.) I laughed under my mask at this. What absurdity!

Then, he began to employ different tactics. He came about from a previous conversation I had had with my mother about getting a job/leaving and making out better. He explained how he worked so hard so that we could all sit pretty. How he wanted to give us a platform from which to minister to this family primarily and to other families and witness to people in the community. He whined a little about the lack of appreciation pampered kids in these situations seem to show (referencing another family we know with whose father he had recently talked). He explained how great my position here was and then he threatened me with the same isolation as my older sister is now experiencing (should I continue in being so ungrateful and disrespectful).

He then burst into tears and explained how much he really loved me, and for all these years of my life. How much he wanted for me. I felt nothing. Watching him cry I felt strangely distant, like I was out of myself and watching the whole charade from the roof. I didn't feel like laughing, but I wondered if I should feel more. I refused to feel guilty, and I refused to allow my emotions to reach out to him.

He then told me I was an adult and I needed to bear adult consequences. He then went back and referenced my post on the anniversary of leaving the RP and gave me a lengthy lecture on God using me where He put me and me not being responsive. He called all the “TCK stuff” I subscribe to “victimization” and (although he did allow some of it to have some possible merit) that I needed to give it all to God and move on. The moment he brought the post and being an MK into the conversation I threw my mask off. Oh, if looks could kill they wouldn't be able to find all the pieces of him. He noted a little later that “If I was reading facial expressions into this conversation you are not ...” something about paying attention or agreeing with him.

He then gave a personal spin to it with all the terrible and not-so-easy-to-deal-with situations that he had been in in life (school, roommates, work, etc) (and my mother nodded and exclaimed in agreement) and how he had been accepting of God's work in his life and how he had gone through them and been victorious. He used both hands to show the dichotomy of being obedient to God versus being stubborn and proclaimed that there was no middle ground “...unless someone is half-crazy or refuses to think.”

He then threatened me again. He said that (as my mother put it) “unless there is immediate change” in my attitude I would be given 30 days notice. We would meet again in a week and discuss how things went.

He then asked me if I had anything to say. I said no, and he got up, seemingly satisfied that this issues had been dealt with.

My clock is ticking. I have been trying to keep myself tied up, but when it slips out I don't regret it.

I am mostly concerned about being able to bring my cats with me—or having to get rid of them. My sister mentioned that I might be able to board them somewhere. I will have to look into that. The next thing will be finding a cellphone of my own, probably a car.

I doubt that I will have visiting rights, but I don't know if I should stay in the area or move to where my sister is. Somehow all this is inevitable, yet my two years is less than half over.

I emailed a lady a couple days ago about a nanny job in MD. I will check up on some of the reader's link for positions/companies. Thank You, shadowspring.

PS. I still cannot comment, sorry.
PPS--Yes, that is a link for my "other" blog. You are welcome to look through it. I have a lot of growing pains on there...