Anew

I am on the edge of accepting a job.
I found a really awesome Customer Service position at an Emergency Veterinary hospital.
It is very interesting because I would not only be answering phone lines and taking payments, but I would be admitting patients and checking them out like in a hospital.  And, not any kind of patients, but animals.  Dogs and Cats whom I love.
I spent 4 hours there yesterday seeing a cat being euthanized because it had fluid in its lungs and wasnt able to breathe on its own any more.  I saw an old hound dog with a protrusion out its side bleeding on the floor, biting its owner who tired to wipe the hole.  I saw owners in tears and owners happily reunited with their pets after being assured that they had stopped having seizures.

I loved it, and I know I would thrive there.
I am just all torn up inside about actually taking a job and going out on my own like this.
I initially accepted my first ever job out of sheer necessity: They were the only ones to actually want to hire me.
I have never had to make the decision on my own to move forward or not based on my wants.
It is overwhelming, and upsetting, and exhilarating, and mind-bending, and scary, and wonderful, and a new step for me, and a giant cliff that I have just decided to jump off.

Who knows?!?!

Maybe I'll get my Associate in Business Administration and then become a Certified Veterinary Technician like I wanted to be as a little girl.  Maybe, could be.... anything.
Its all an open door to me.
And that is life anew.