Apace

Life goes on.

I got a lot more response than I anticipated from my last post, and it was a pretty unanimous veiw that I was being overly dramatic and over-reacting.  I have gotten that one before.  It reminds me not to take myself so seriously.

It seems like ever year I realize that winter is coming and I steel myself inside and try my darndest to not let it get to me, but it invariably does.  I havent cooked all month.  I havent worked my job without crying and, in fact, I seem emotionally on edge almost every day lately.  Granted, there were some work developments that have significantly affected my loyalty to the company; but at the same time to go from loving my job to waiting for the clock to count down is significant.

I realize that I only matter so long as they like me.  I could continue to work myself to death for them and all the appreciation I would get would be from my fellow lower-level service partners who see how hard I am working.  And, in fact, there have been about a dozen that have come forward in the past week and given me words of encouragement or hugs, or in some way appreciated me because of the actions of the manager towards me.
Being loved changes you.

And that is one thing I refuse to give up on.
Because I know that no matter how *I* feel (worthy or unworthy) there are people who love me no matter what.  And that changes everything.
And my favorite memories are being hugged tight in their arms as well as their hearts when I am away. And I get to be with them soon!!!!

And, on that note, it is a good day for me today.
No looking back; life continues apace.