I am FREE!

Maybe I should write this late at night.
Maybe I shouldnt blab when I am tired and angry and emotional.
Maybe I should go to bed.

But I am FREE to make that choice for myself.
I am FREE to wear jeans to work today.
I am FREE to get a job or change jobs or quit.
I am FREE to move to a different city.
I am FREE to make plans and then change them.
I am FREE to spend my money when I am hungry at work.
I am FREE to clean the kitchen or leave it as is.
I am FREE stay up late.
I am FREE to cry and be emotional and upset about things.
I am FREE to go dancing.
I am FREE to de-stress myself by walking or swimming, or listening to angry music, or soothing music, or talking, or dancing, or writing on my blog.
I am FREE to call people, even at this hour of the night and talk.
I am FREE!!!!!!

I cant really explain how it blows my mind being able to have this and to not be afraid of repercussions.
To not have to get up early tomorrow and pretend I slept.
To not have to sneak away because I am trying not to fall apart.
To not have to hide my computer and phone and friends and facebook wall.
To not be afraid of some dance moves, or shaking my hips, or having men look at me.
To not have the Bible (or quasi-relevant passages) thrown at me.
To NOT go to church or 'fellowship' or any gathering of cult peoples.
I do not have to sacrifice my freedom or choice for the sake of any person's pride, or a group's 'testimony', or as a personal favor, or as a duty to a family or 'god', or for my future, or for my eternal destiny.


I guess 'normal' people find these to be strange lists.
And perhaps they are.  But I have lead a strange life.  And I know the fruits.