May 30, 2013

Today's Topic: Modesty is about Pricks

**warning, frank speech in plain terms


I know, *insert sighs and groans* because "modesty" is a trigger word used to condemn anything that is too tight, too short, too thin, or to "sexy."

But have you EVER thought about what that really means?

This blog post; which is very personal, real, and moving brought up a whole new side of "modesty" for me that I had never contemplated before.
When the man asks her to sit down because some boy is "doing things," what is he saying?
He is saying that the boy's penis would not be erect if she were sitting down, or wearing more clothing, or (perhaps preferably) not present.  Really, he is telling her that she needs to submit to some strange, pubescent boy's penis.

THAT BLEW MY MIND.

Modesty, as it is forced upon women by the fundamentalist, jean-jumper, skirts-only, shirts-two-sizes-too-big culture, is all about men's pricks.  Because some man might get an erection from you wearing pants, or from seeing your ankles in sandals, or because your shirt had too big of a neck.

I mean, of course they dont say it this way because talking about sex is taboo and I didnt know what an erection was until I was about 21.  Young girls, it is when a man is sexually aroused.  His penis stands away from his body.  You are NOT trying to "protect the minds of your brothers in Christ."  You are actually trying to not be in any semblance sexual, so that they do not think of anything sexual when they see you.
Ie: the more shapeless, asexual, and invisible you are, the better it is for the men.

Because men cant help it?

Helllooooo, I was taught basic logic even though I was not taught anatomy.

Seeing a chocolate cake does not give a man an erection.
Spending a day in the park does not give a man an erection.
Seeing a woman in pants does not give a man an erection.
Seeing a woman in a bathing suit (one or two piece) does not give a man an erection.
Seeing a woman's V-neck shirt does not give a man an erection.
Seeing a woman bend over does not give a man an erection.
Seeing a woman's breasts does not give a man an erection.
Seeing a woman naked does not give a man an erection.

How can I say this?  Well, because seeing is only that.  Your corneas are sending information pixels to your brain.  There is nothing sexual about pixels.  What causes an erection is a MAN thinking sexual thoughts in his mind.  His body (having evolved to survive and propagate his species) responds to the sexual thoughts by bringing his penis away from his body to better penetrate his object of sexual lust.
Men are not helpless when their corneas unwittingly allow pixels of women to fly to their brains, they are CHOOSING to sexually objectify that woman.  The woman could be doing something as innocent as showing an ankle underneath her voluminous dress when crossing the street, and a man could sexually objectify her.

It is not something women can control.
Because you, as a person, cannot control any person other than yourself.
It is not something women can prevent.
Because you can never predict all the fetishes and turn-ons in the world, and there are more every day!  Unless you never see a man, you cannot protect all men from yourself.  Which leads me to say:
It is not something women are at fault for.
If anything, it was the fault of whomever fashioned women to be so sexually attractive to men (and vise versa), and it was an evolutionary necessity to keep the human race from dying out.  You cannot change being born a woman, (well, you actually can, these days) and you cannot change having a womanly shape, and you cannot stop that from attracting men, as men are attracted to your pheromones as much as they are to your shape(s).
It is not something women should be shamed for.
Seriously.  The message I hear over and over from the "modesty, purity" camp is: Woman, you have a body that attracts men.  For shame!  Cover up and hide that attraction.  Do not have a body.  For shame!

So that's it: modesty is about keeping men from getting an erection.
 So modest is about women preventing blue balls, somehow
So modesty is nothing more than men's penises deciding what women do or dont get to wear or show or cover or have.

Strange, when I put it in those terms I suddenly dont have the urge to ever want to be called "modest" again.

As I told someone I used to know this evening:
    I have decided personally that I will not be a slave to any man's penis.

4 comments:

Rachel said...

YES.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

Headless Unicorn Guy said...

Ie: the more shapeless, asexual, and invisible you are, the better it is for the men.

First reaction: BURKA.

Second reaction: And when the men want something shapely, sexual, and visible, they'll end up surfing the Web for porn. Because RL women have been made dangerous and/or unattractive.

Seeing a chocolate cake does not give a man an erection.

Unless he's kinky for chocolate cake. (I know it's near-impossible to get to adulthood these days without developing some sort of hopefully-harmless paraphilia, but that's a new one on me.)

Anonymous said...

Amen to that! You spend time around Christian boys, you hear that seeing your knees or a bra strap could taint their mind with the dirtiness of your body and distract them. That you are just too sexual, and boys can't help themselves.

Then you spend time with secular men, and you learn that they know how to control themselves, and it's not your fault, or responsibility if they are aroused. They can dance chest to chest with a woman, see them in bikinis at the beach, and still interact with them respectfully as fellow humans, without disrespect, lust, or erections.

David Schell said...

Speaking as a guy, this isn't entirely true. I was turned on by girls before I even knew what sex was or how it worked. I just saw bikini outlines and thought they were hot, clueless though I was.

That being said, an erection isn't a sin, and neither is being beautiful.